I had a graphic designer friend once who was going through a hard time. People would ask him how he was and he would share his pains – it was, he said later, one of his biggest business mistakes of all time.
The fact is there is a difference between personal relationships and business relationships. It may be that over time some business relationships become friendships and that’s good, but, unless a person is a close friend, do not share your problems with them.
If business is slow and getting slower; the creditors are closing in like static on a bad hair day and you’re overwhelmed with rats and mice that aren’t actually adding any value to your business – keep it to yourself!
By all means, share your problems and look for answers with the people who are close to you – friends, family, mentors, business and personal coaches and your counsellor – but not your customers.
The reality is that people love sharing with you, so long as what you’re sharing picks them up and contributes to their own success. If it brings them down, they very soon start to look for the escape exit.
The reason I’m writing this is that from time to time I’ve had one or two members stand up for their 60 second – shoulders slumped – and tell us about how terrible things are. Your heart goes out to them, but you also realise that if they continue to do that things will get worse for them.
I know it sounds terrible, but that appears to be the way it is. The fact is that if you want to be successful and prosper, you have to come across as successful, upbeat and prosperous – it attracts people and with people comes opportunities.
Chin up, soldier on and success will continue or at least come again.
7 comments
So true Colin – it is the law of attraction. If you put out negative vibes – that is what you will attract. I have seen it in action in a BNI meeting also – someone joins a group of people and starts complaining – be it about the weather, the economy – whatever, and it is almost as though others feel compelled in someway to add to the misery – and before you know it the energy of the entire group is being dragged down. Smile – and the whole word smiles with you 🙂
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Great one Colin – there is a lot of wisdom in what you are saying. That is exactly why the BNI system is designed to be 100% positive, and why successful Chapters are exactly that. Thank you for this great post.
Frederick, National Director BNI Australia
Hi,
Yes this is a great article. One of the way to deal with this is explain clearly during New Member Orientation or MSPs, that the purpose of One-Minute presentation is to achieve new targets.
If facing a challenge say business is slow or etc, then should speak to a mentor member completely off-line, else credibility will be eroded.
So right that when people hear we complain, they will start to look for escape routes!
Riyaz, BNI Area Director, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Thanks Riyaz – and great to have a BNI Director from Malaysia commenting on the blog. All the best and welcome to the fold 🙂
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Thanks Frederick – good to have the National Director of BNI Australia on the site 🙂
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Great topic Colin. Your attitude determines your altitude. When things are a bit down a positive approach is the best medicine. My glass is always half FULL, never half empty.
Right now mine is completely full – but then it is 6.30 on Friday night 🙂 Thanks for your support Alastair. Have a good weekend.
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