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Enhance your BNI group self tak

by BNI New Zealand

I found this post by Mike Tobin on the  BNI Missouri-Southern Illinois blog

Have you ever heard the phrase “people are what they think about and talk about most of the time? This principle also applies towards groups of people, especially those that are performance-based groups, such as professional and college sports teams, as well as BNI chapters. So here is the million dollar question: What kind of group self-talk do we have going on at our chapter? In other words, as a chapter, what are we saying to ourselves?

Here are some examples of negative self talk that can manifest itself in the chapter environment and some suggestions/ideas of some alternative talk:

I. Towards Visitors:

“We only have (number) of members in our chapter, so we are trying to grow our chapter, and sure would like to have you as a part of our chapter…please see us after the meeting if you would like an application…..

How About?……….

“We are so happy that we are progressing towards 30+ members (or whatever the chapter goal number is)….and we are having FUN while we do it! How would you like to lock out your competition and have a shot at ALL of our business? (as an application is placed in front of the visitor) We have BUSINESS to give you….why not you?


II.Towards Members:

“We had (10) referrals passed last week, so we really felt short…the national average is .75 and we were at .50 RPM….way too low–you all need to work harder at making this happen (with pointing finger waving at members in audience)”

How about?……..

“We had (10) referrals passed last week…not bad, but I bet we could make it even better!! We are progressing towards our goal of (100) referrals this month, so the (10) referrals really helps out, but I bet if we went for (20) next week, we could help close even more business for each other….what do you all think? Get your calendars out!! Let’s book a 1-2-1 right now before I continue with the person next to you- Our goal for next week is to have a referral opportunity for the person you are having a 1-2-1 with….

III. Towards Chapter Goals:

“Great week of networking, as usual, we had 1 member with 0 referrals, 2 with 2, 5 with 6 ,etc (read directly from V.P. report generated from web site)….etc….etc…..etc…..” with no explanation of what or how the numbers relate to the chapter goals.

How about?…..

“We are confidently moving towards our chapter goals this year of (40) members, 525 referrals, and 12 Million Dollars in closed business….last week we had (21) members, 22 referrals and closed $10,000 in business…way to go team!”

These are just a few examples of where a few changes in how we speak to ourselves as a chapter can make a HUGE difference in the results that we receive in our group. Earl Nightingale defined success as “Progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” Are you realizing this in your chapter?

Keep in mind- positive talk without definiteness of purpose, solid game plan, and action steps to follow will not change a lot in a chapter….but action many times starts with the words we speak and the things we focus on as a group….as a team!

I am quite aware that we have challenges as members and leaders we must face. I am also aware that there are negative things that happen to people, businesses, and chapters….however, when you are so enthralled with the power of possibility not only provided by BNI, but by each other, it is hard to spend a lot of time on the negative.

People, companies, and BNI chapters are what they think about, and focus on, most of the time….so what are you focusing on in 2010?

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