Negative Self Talk
When we make a mistake and say out loud or to ourselves “I’m so stupid, why do I always do that” it is called negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk is a kind of limiting self-belief that over time becomes our belief about ourselves.
We often don’t even realise that this running commentary is going on in the background, but our self-talk can have a big influence on how we feel about who we are.
If other people hear us say it often enough, they will believe it as well.
We should be careful to stop constant negative self-talk and replace it with more positive self-talk, like “Show me someone who never made a mistake and I’ll show you someone who never did anything”.
Subtly Negative Self-Talk
There is a more subtle level of negative self-talk which also frames they way we see our lives and ourselves. For example, often we will say we are busy. This may be true but as business owners, don’t we choose how busy we are? Even saying “I’m busy” brings a level of stress and limitation of what is possible. Is it better to say, “I have a full life”? This says we have a lot on but we have chosen that and it is rewarding.
Another example is when people ask, “how are you?” the customary polite answer is “I’m good” but sometimes we say, “I’m OK”. Ok is an average state and deflating. Good is a bit better, but saying “I’m doing great” is a positive statement that energises you and the other person. It might be an exaggeration, but is it? Compared to some people we are doing great, and we should recognise that. Can anyone think of any other subtly negative self-talk and how it could be reframed to be more positive?
And we should also note that reframing is not intended to deny negative emotions or experience in an oppressive “good vibes only” kind of way, but instead make a conscious decision to see things in a positive light, the silver lining in the cloud, as a way of like attracting like. Where we can become what we project.
Choose the Lens You See the World Through
The lens that we choose to see the world through can greatly influence the things that we see and experience. What you say about your world experience helps determine the world that you live in and the people you attract into your world or into your network, into our BNI group.
What you put in your head shows up in your world.
Whether you’re talking about an abundance mentality versus a scarcity mentality, the law of attraction, or the glass being half full, words matter.
