In the early stages of the Pandemic, back in March/April, most of us used our “surge capacity” to cope. Surge capacity is a collection of adaptive systems – mental and physical – that humans draw on for short term survival in acutely stressful situations such as natural disasters.
But natural disasters occur over a short period, even if the recovery from the disaster is long.
Pandemics are different – the disaster itself stretches out indefinitely. The reaction of people to the re-emergence of Covid-19 in the community when we all thought the Pandemic was over in NZ has shown many of us have used up our surge capacity.
A “new normal”
While the phrase “adjusting to the new normal” has been repeated
endlessly since March, adjusting is easier said than done. How do you adjust to
where the new “normal” is an indefinite uncertainty?
The Pandemic is different from a flood or hurricane where you can see the damage. The Pandemic damage is for most people, invisible and ongoing. So much isn’t working “normally” right now; hospitality, public transport, events, travel just to name a few.
We may be underestimating how severe the adversity is and that people may be experiencing a normal reaction to a pretty severe and ongoing disaster. Research on disaster and trauma focuses primarily on what’s helpful for people during the recovery period, but we’re not close to recovery yet.
People can use their surge capacity for acute periods, but when dire circumstances drag on, you have to adopt a different style of coping. It is important to recognise it’s normal in times of great uncertainty and chronic stress to get exhausted, to feel ups and downs, and to feel like you’re depleted or experience periods of burnout.”
Ambiguous Loss
In BNI, many of us are lifelong overachievers and overachievers are accustomed to solving problems, getting things done, having a routine, moving forward. These have been hard to do for the last six months. Often, it’s been one step forward, two steps sideways, and one back. Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness can occur, especially where we have to place our trust in “experts” that at times may seem to struggle themselves to get it right.
We are a solution-based culture and right now we have a pandemic that has no immediate solution. It means we have an ambiguous loss which is a loss that is unclear and has no resolution. Normal loss processing doesn’t work. Currently, we have a loss of our way of life and when we do eventually get some of our way of life back, it’s not certain that we won’t lose it again. It is not death but it’s a major, major loss.
A winding uncharted path to coping in a pandemic
While there isn’t a handbook for functioning during a pandemic, here is some wisdom for getting our way through this.
Accept that life is different right now
Practise radical acceptance. It’s a challenging time, it’s hard. You have to accept that in your bones and be okay with that’s the way it is.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, it means not resisting or fighting reality so that you can apply your energy more positively elsewhere.
Expect less from yourself
Most of us have heard for most of our lives to expect more from ourselves in some way or another. Now we must permit ourselves to do the opposite. We must expect less of ourselves, and we have to replenish more.
Recognise the different aspects of grief
Grief doesn’t process linearly. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are all major concepts in facing loss.
Plenty of people are in denial, anger is evident everywhere, bargaining is mostly with scientists we hope will develop a vaccine quickly. The depression is obvious, but acceptance sometimes means “saying we’re going to have a good time despite this,”. But it can also mean accepting that we cannot change the situation right now. “Our new normal is always feeling a little off-balance, like trying to stand in a dinghy on rough seas, and not knowing when the storm will pass.”
Focus on maintaining and strengthening important relationships
The biggest aid in facing adversity and building resilience is social support and remaining connected to people. That includes helping others, even when we’re feeling depleted ourselves. Helping others is one of those win-win strategies of taking action because we’re all feeling a sense of helplessness and loss of control about what’s going on with this pandemic, but when you take action with other people, you can control what you’re doing.” This is why BNI is so important and valuable right now – Givers Gain!
Begin slowly rebuilding your “Surge Capacity”
Build into your life regular practices that promote resilience and provide a fallback when life gets tough. It is likely our “Surge Capacity” is already diminished. Key areas are sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation, self-compassion, gratitude, connection, and saying no.
Summary
Recognising that this pandemic is different from a disaster in that its damage is not visible and has no endpoint means we must adapt strategies to replenish our “surge capacity” to help ourselves and others on the journey.
