This is truly one of the great mysteries of life – why do we do what we do when we know what we know? In Australia the packaging for cigarettes contains this warning: Using this product will Kill You! And yet, thousands upon thousands continue to light up every single day. How many sit on the couch every night, channel surfing while downing a cheeseburger, pizza or some other high-fat food followed by dessert? How many continue to work beyond what is healthy knowing they are neglecting important relationships?
Why? Why? Why? It seems so logical to be able to recognize something that should or shouldn’t be done and then do it or not do it. There is lies the challenge – human beings have a range of emotions to deal with and manage or control beyond simple logic. Below are a few reasons why we might not do what we know we should.
Fear of failure. This is one of the strongest emotions known to human beings. In many cases people will not only begin, they will behave toward the opposite end of the spectrum just so it won’t even appear that they were ever even remotely interested in improvement. No one likes to fail – it can be a brutal emotional battle, but those who wish to thrive and succeed must feel that fear and then take positive action anyway. Recognize that there is no failure in failing; there is only failure in not trying.
Fear of success. This seems a bit contradictory, but it is a very real emotion and plays out in a host of different ways. Some people fear what success might bring into their life. They may have to change friends, they may have to change careers, leave a relationship, move to a new area or give up long held beliefs or habits. Others may fear the responsibilities which might come with that success or may be worried that if they achieve a high level now that will become the new norm or standard and aren’t sure they want to keep working that hard. Still others may worry that success will lead them into unchartered waters where they may be outside of the skills they have already perfected or the competencies they have already acquired. Keeping the proper perspective is key to a life that will always have some ups and downs, but will be on a steady upward trajectory.
Fear of loss of control. Some continue on an unhealthy or unproductive path because they feel that if they commit to a path they will lose their identity and become a drone to some system. Life really is about choices and everyone has choices, even if the only choice you have is to choose your response to a situation, you have a choice – and that provides you with all the control you need.
And therein lies the answer to each of these emotional challenges and fears – choice. If you are on a path that is not leading where you want to go, if you are continually asking yourself, “why do I do that?” You need to stop and truly, honestly ask yourself why you are doing it! And don’t be content with your first answer. Dig deeper. Use the Wizard of Oz approach (remember the “We’re off to see the Wizard” song – Because, because, because, because, because…) Ask yourself “because questions” and you will get to the heart of your behavioral issues. For example, I do this because X, and I do that because Y, and I do that because Z, And I do that because A and I do that because B – at about that point you will start to get to the real issues which drive behaviour.
Understanding why you do what you do, especially when you know what you know is a vital first step toward taking control, making wise choices and creating the future you truly desire.
This is a sample of material you can have access to through iLearningGlobal.
As I’m delighted to be on Ivan Misner’s iLearningGlobal Team here in New Zealand thought you may like a sample of the EDGE Expert Directed Guided Education. These Personal Development, Financial Education, and Business Skills Training are easily available on-demand from industry-leading professionals. Please visit www.iLearningGlobalNewZealand.com for more or feel free to contact me as BNI’s Master Reseller in New Zealand.
Keep smiling 🙂
Paul
