In BNI the aim is to create trusted, long term, business relationships that lead to the creation of effective referral partnerships.
The process of creating a true referral partnership is not dissimilar to online dating, where most people enter into this with the aim of finding a long-term partner and maybe marriage and children.
Like BNI, online dating starts with a profile that interests another person. This is similar to when a new member joins a group.
In online dating they start talking via the online platform to see if there are things in common and interest in taking their initial contact further. This can be equated to the conversations during the groups networking time and hearing each other’s weekly presentations (60secs).
In online dating, the next step is actually meeting. Often this step doesn’t happen and the potential relationship fizzles out before it starts. If they do meet it’s very exciting and they are looking out for rapport, physical attraction etc. At this stage they are on their best behaviour and probably don’t talk about moving in together, sharing bank accounts or having children! Even if they connect with each other on the first date, a single meeting rarely works out in the long run!
In BNI, the first meeting is the initial 1-2-1, we are excited, share personal history and a bit about our businesses. And in BNI that’s often where it stops, well before spending enough time to become true referral partners. It can stay as a very shallow relationship.
With our online daters, to get real long-term partners they have to keep meeting, learn to respect each other, have each other’s back, navigate the rough patches whilst keeping the love alive! It’s not easy but it’s totally worth being in a long-term meaningful relationship. In fact, research proves that couples in long term relationships are happier, wealthier and live longer!
In BNI, we have to do the same to get to the point where referring each other is easy and second nature, which is impossible just from one connection or 1-2-1 meeting.
So, if you are presuming you have a business relationship after only having one 1-2-1 with a member, are you guilty of wanting a great relationship from a one off connection.
Let’s all work on creating long-term relationships!
