Article contributed by Wilma Ham.
Recently I realized that I grew up in a family that wasn’t big on integrity. I’m not ear bashing my folks here, instead I’ve observed that all families have integrity issues, whether they be visible or invisible.
- Dealing with my unanswered e-mails.
- For our family it was okay to borrow things and not return them for an eternity.
- It was okay for us kids to blame each other in order to get our own way.
- It was acceptable to use my mother as an excuse for being late for school or not having our homework done. “Just tell Mrs. Keane that you were helping me and it was MY fault” my mother would say.
Of course she thought she was helping us out and even though it did come from a place of love and protection, it did not bode well when the time came for me to venture out into the big wide world for myself. I got a rude awakening; not everyone operated at the same level when it came to integrity.
So my old familiar behaviors of blame, excuses and denial just didn’t cut it in this new arena and in the beginning I was shocked. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Integrity was and still is a vast word to me, originally presented to me as a moral ethical issue. I am not alone in this.
Most people when asked if they have integrity will put their shoulders back, hold their head up high and reply with a firm ‘Yes, I have’. However when I look at people around me, myself included, and their actions or lack of them as the case may be, it is all very confusing. For instance, for some people it is not all right to lie and be deceitful, yet it is OKAY to simply ignore people and their requests. Aren’t these all integrity issues?