Article contributed by Clive Murphy.
I consult with many people who say “I know what I should be doing but I just don’t do it”.
Do these words sound familiar to you?
They can apply to:
* making that phone call to a potential client,
* exercising,
* eating healthy meals,
* getting a medical check-up or some health problem checked out,
* improving some part of your life,
* quitting a bad habit,
* leaving a failed relationship,
* getting new referrals,
* doing a dance card,
* telling someone how you feel.
So, why don’t you do what you know you should?
To explain, let us go back to some basics.
When you have something to do, there is both a positive to doing it and a negative. As your programming begins from day 1, your mind instantly adds all the positives and negatives accumulated over the entire of your life and gives you a net feeling. Where the positives outweigh the negatives, there is a great chance you will do what you planned. If the negatives outweigh the positives, you won’t.
For example, you know you should go to the doctor and get that medical problem seen to. Your family have been on your back for ages to do it. So, why haven’t you?
While it may be a problem to them, it is obviously not a big enough problem for you to take action. You may be thinking “I’m OK” or “There is nothing wrong with me”. In this example, you have put 20 units of positive energy into consulting with the doctor and 50 units into not seeing the doctor. As the 50 beats the 20, you decide against the consultation.
This same concept applies to getting referrals. If there is a bigger need not to source referrals than there is to source them, then you won’t.
The Solution
When you know you should be doing something, either increase the need to do it, eliminate the negatives against doing it, or both.
In our example, increasing the need to see the doctor is to place a large importance on your health. It means valuing your health both for you, your family and your friends. You may even take the attitude “I’m better knowing what is happening than not knowing. I can only fix a problem if I know what it is and get it early”.
You can also eliminate the negatives of seeing the doctor by identifying the reasons why you don’t want to see him/her. Is it (i) you don’t want to know about the problem, (ii) it couldn’t happen to you (you’re invincible), or (iii) fear of facing any bad news (no news is good news)?
Relate this concept back to where you are not taking action in your own life when you know you should. What’s stopping you from ringing that client, getting referrals, doing dance cards, eating healthy meals, exercising, giving up that bad habit, telling someone how you feel, quitting or fixing a bad relationship or improving some part of your life?
When a part of you knows you should create the action that is in your best interest, make it a priority, build the positives and, if that fails, identify and eliminate the negatives. Through doing this, you are taking control.
