“It’s remarkable that we can provide an excellent range of supports when a person breaks a leg or an arm. But when that same person experiences a significant loss causing psychological and emotional distress in their life, there is very little to help them get through” – Andrew Thompson, Social Worker and Therapist with the Consult Liaison Psychiatry Team at Starship and a Trustee of the Grief Centre.
At the Grief Centre, we provide a range of support services including information and counselling to help those affected by loss and grief. This includes businesses and businesspeople like those that are in BNI, who are impacted by any significant loss.
What is grief?
Grief is a strong, sometimes overwhelming emotion for people, regardless of whether their sadness stems from the loss of a loved one, from a terminal diagnosis they or someone they love have received, or from some other life-changing event. They might find themselves feeling numb and removed from daily life, unable to carry on with regular duties while saddled with their sense of loss.
Grief is the natural reaction to loss. Grief is both a universal and a personal experience. Individual experiences of grief vary and are influenced by the nature of the loss. Some examples of loss include the death of a loved one, the ending of an important relationship, job loss, loss through theft or changed financial circumstances, or the loss of independence through illness or disability.
A person’s grieving journey can last for months or years. Generally, pain is tempered as time passes and as the person adapts to life without a loved one, or to life and a future that is in some other way significantly different to how it was before, or how they’d imagined it would be.
Our story
The Grief Centre originated from the North Shore Hospice. Maureen Frayling, while working at Hospice as the Family Support Coordinator, became increasingly aware of the lack of grief services for those who did not receive direct care from the Hospice Program. Between February and June 2008 a feasibility study was conducted. The study surveyed thirty-six diverse, mostly North Shore, organisations, regarding the need for a Grief Centre. The results suggested a gap in grief and loss services for adults and particularly for children and young people on the North Shore and greater Auckland. Results also indicated a degree of frustration at the lack of services and confusion around where to refer those affected by loss and grief issues. The findings suggested the need for leadership and coordination in grief and loss. From this initial study a business plan was prepared. At this point the North Shore Hospice decided it was unable to continue its support of the Grief Centre initiative mainly due to funding concerns. During the feasibility study Dil’s Funeral Services were introduced to the Grief Centre project and took over where Hospice left off. Dil’s is now our major sponsor. They have lent us the indefinite use of their building at 92 Hinemoa St. from where we now operate. Services have subsequently developed in other parts of the Auckland region and can be accessed by contacting the Birkenhead office. From these beginnings, The Grief Centre is now registered with the Charities Commission (CC38713) and The Companies Office (2492361) as The Grief Support and Education Charitable Trust. The Trust is committed to its vision of providing support to those affected by grief and loss.
Grieving in business
Grief and loss is a big issue facing businesses and individual employees. Some examples of events where support may be useful to the employee affected are; significant workplace changes or redundancy, separation/divorce, mental health issues, addictions, emotional or physical abuse, physical disabilities or illness, infertility, the loss of a pet, financial loss and bereavement.
If staff wellbeing is undermined, negative outcomes may occur. for example, you may see: reduced productivity, increased mistakes and errors, conflict (with colleagues, management, or subordinates), grievance and disciplinary incidents, sickness and absenteeism, low morale and negative atmosphere, poor customer service and quality, resignations and job terminations, poor employer reputation among staff, customers, and the public.
Grief issues facing SMEs
Small-to-medium enterprises (SMEs) make up around 97 per cent of businesses in New Zealand, and amongst these there are 900,000 workers employed by businesses with 20 staff or less. SMEs, along with all businesses, face increased obligations under the Health & Safety at Work Act 2015 (which came into force April 4th 2016) requiring employers to monitor the health and welfare of their workers, and to provide information and training to protect workers from risks to their health and safety.
Employment Assistance Programs (EAPs) provide direct support for the health and welfare of workers, but very few SMEs have established EAP providers, and few General Managers know where to turn to access support for their workers. Apart from health and safety, wellbeing and stress are major factors in service-quality, employee performance, and in productivity, and therefore in business effectiveness and profit. When employees are experiencing significant change or loss in their lives, their productivity reduces, and mistakes and errors increase, as does sickness and absenteeism.
The Grief Centre is well positioned to provide affordable EAP services for SMEs from its seven locations based in Auckland and Whangarei, or via phone or Skype throughout the rest of the country. Loss and grief is a universal experience inherent in any significant life change. Workers who require support will often present with loss or grief issues, and the Grief Centre’s qualified clinical team are specialised in that field. The Centre welcomes enquiry from Managers and business owners who are looking to meet their health and safety obligations and increase support for their workers.
Tips on overcoming grief
Grief affects all of us, but there are ways to overcome it. Here are 5 simple tips to help cope with grief.
- Try not to avoid your feelings. Facing them and going through the feelings, crying, and talking to friends, family and your doctor can provide relief and help your grief process
- Seek support from family and friends. While some people may not be able to give you the support you need, there are always those who can and will
- Take time out from your regular routine such as your work, as much time as you need
- Return to your awareness of your breathing. Taking some deep breaths when you feel overwhelmed can be helpful
- Consider joining a support group. Spending time with people who have had a similar experience may mean that they have some sense of what you are experience.
Grief is a natural part of life and learning to deal with it in the workplace can lead to positive outcomes for the entire business. Grief is more than bereavement; the effects can be significant and long-lasting. It can also be challenging for businesses to find the time to deal with the stresses that come out of grief. Reach out to experts for support with grief and ensure your business and employees aren’t unnecessarily burdened by its effects.
Trudie Vos, General Manager, The Grief Centre
