What questions should I ask when I dance with a BNI member?

New BNI member Marion Jackson, of My Virtual Assistant, asked for tips on how a ‘dance’ should be conducted.

We asked our BNI Directors and here are their answers:

When I dance with new members, I encourage them (by example) to use the GAINS Worksheet (Members manual, Sect. 5 Pages 6 and 7) especially if they have no idea what to ask or feel they’re being nosey – this way is a formally recognised resource. Other questions to ask:

• How long in this business?
• What were you doing before?
• Ask about staff and what they do? If possible ask to meet them.
• If a sole trader, have you thought who could be a substitute? Best client, spouse, good friend….. 
• Could you tell me all the aspects of your business to help me recognise a referral for you?
• Who would be a dream referral for you? 

– Gary Sims, Regional Director, BNI Northland

My thoughts are that a dance should endeavour to find out as much as possible about the person you are dancing with and is a one-way process which focusses on the person you requested the dance with. 

Questions could include – interests, skills and experience, family, hobbies and pets, goals for the future, both personal and also in a business sense.  Other questions could be directed more specifically on their business, and could include things like what makes their particular business different, how you can find he/she a referral.

Using the GAINS principle is a great way to remain focussed on gathering the information you are seeking in a structured manner.

It is possible that it will take more than one dance in order to learn about a person and their business, so keep dancing regularly.

–      Alastair Christie

The purpose of a dance is to understand the other person’s business. Treat the Dance as a semi formal meeting, rather than just chatting about the chapter and things in general – be specific about what you want to know and understand about the person. The things we find out about people is amazing when we are focussed on them and listening to them.

This is why it is recommended that you do not do a double dance.

–      Grant Foggo

>>> Do you have any other tips?