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We Go Where We Look

by BNI New Zealand

Article contributed by Sandy Geyer.

It is fairly common knowledge that racing car drivers are trained not to look at the barrier when tearing around a circuit at high speed. Why? Because they go where they look. We all do subconsciously and “don’t look down” might also sound familiar in this context. Where we look has a lot to do with where we find ourselves today. More importantly, understanding this intuitive reaction can make all the difference as to where we find ourselves tomorrow

The majority of entrepreneurs are not in touch with their “wants” and this manifests very clearly in their results. There is a significant reason for this breakdown. We all have ingrained mental programming that goes back to our early development as we learned to understand the meaning of words. The most consequential word we came to recognise early was the word “No”.

“No” is a very understandable response to a newly mobile little person intent on discovering every available manner of injuring themselves. As parents we all understand the necessity of saying no – and our intentions are good- but it’s an unfortunate start to a child’s psyche.

This negative programming continues throughout our childhood development as in most cases our needs are fulfilled ahead of our wants. This parenting supposedly teaches us to strive harder for what we want but it often achieves the opposite, and ultimately renders us completely useless at identifying our wants with any conviction. In my business seminars, I often ask my audience to write a list of what they want. I do this because I want them to look at those wants, the first important step to attaining them. The reaction, across culture and nationality, is very similar and involves a lot of head scratching, shifting uncomfortably and grimacing uneasily. Very little actually gets written down!

Yet ask a three year old at Christmas time what he wants and his world comes alive with endless possibilities.

The difference between the three year old and the adult is that the three year old still believes he can have what he wants. The adult has had that belief de-programmed and has been successfully taught to provide for his needs only.

When starting a business we often set it up to cater for our needs, and in many cases, this is all that we achieve. Anyone who feels as if they have “bought a job” might recognise this situation.

The major difference between the entrepreneurs who make enough money to survive and those who achieve a successful lifestyle lies with what they focused on, and where they were looking, before they took their first entrepreneurial step.

So how do we, as entrepreneurs, ensure that we focus ourselves correctly and utilise the natural drivers available to us to ensure that we gain the lifestyle we really want in reward for our efforts?

Here are some tips to follow:

  • Write a list of your “wants” as if you believe that you can have anything that you want, no matter how strange this exercise might feel
  • Think about what your values are i.e. things that hold value for you such as family, financial wealth, security and friendships. Then re-look at your wants list. Check to see if any of your wants are in contradiction to your values. Edit your wants list to align with your values more closely. It is important for your values and your wants to work together and not be in competition to each other. If they are in competition you will find yourself moving in circles!
  • Try to calculate how much you need to earn (in dollars) to achieve your final list of wants
  • Form a picture in your mind of exactly what you will “look” like when you have achieved your wants. Stare with intensity at the lifestyle you will have and spend time looking at the exact details of that life
  • Structure one or two simple sentences to affirm that you are already achieving your wants. Two examples are; “ I educate my children in the best schools” or “I am the managing director of the most successful X company in New Zealand”. Repeat these statements to yourself at least ten times per day, as if you mean them! You don’t need to say them out loud! These short affirmative statements function to drive your actions appropriately towards your goals and more importantly, they function to stop any negative thoughts from pulling your focus away from the actions needed to achieve your wants

Our actions follow out thoughts. It is as simple as that and we therefore need to spend some dedicated time deciding which of our thoughts are positive. Those will be the only ones we decide to keep.

There are no successful entrepreneurs out there, who got to where they were going by accident! They were looking at exactly where they wanted to be, for a long time before they arrived.

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