Get to know me before you do business with me

“You astound me. You really do. You want something from me, but you don’t even know me. You want my money and my referrals, in return for stuff you say will help me. But how can you know if it will help me, if you don’t really know me?

“Ah, I see. It’s because you’re a member of my BNI and that gives you the right, does it? Damned right, you pay your fees every year and that gives you every right to expect my loyalty!

“And all that’s expected of you is to turn up each week and listen to my 60 second, maybe… and the dollars will flow?”

Ok, so maybe I’m being a bit extreme. Maybe most people don’t have unrealistic expectations like in the monologue above, but I needed to get your attention and, I know, that we all have lapses like this from time to time.

Most of us are guilty at one time or another of going through the motions and expecting a return.

BNI is a structure and a system designed to facilitate teamwork, collaboration and strong ties between people, but if you don’t make the effort to work at it, you won’t reap the rewards.

Take a look around your BNI and ask yourself:

• How many people in your chapter have you taken the time to get to really know?
• How invested are you in helping them succeed?
• When did you last dance with them?

If we want people to care about us, we have to start by caring for them first. We have to be invested in their success and we have to work at really being interested in others.

If you aren’t, the ‘Givers Gain’ reciprocity loop just won’t kick in.

Colin Kennedy is a keynote speaker, writer and content marketing consultant at Iron Road. As BNI New Zealand’s marketing director he is responsible for the organisation’s communications strategy, and also serves as an assistant director for North Central region of BNI.