There’s an article in Dr Ivan Misner’s book, Truth or Delusion?, that labels the statement ‘the more you promote yourself, the more referrals you get’ a delusion – it may seem obviously so, but I would suggest it’s the one area in which BNI members get muddled.
Dr Misner writes: “Just talking about yourself is not enough…”
One way to interpret that is to say that just attending the meeting weekly and ‘talking about yourself’, is not enough to be successful through BNI.
To achieve a flow of high quality referrals, and to be able to give high quality referrals, we should actively look to connect with fellow members and to engage them outside the meeting.
Here are three ways you can do this:
1. Do your dances two or three times a month at least. It’s a no-brainer but most certainly, for many, one of the most neglected activities of BNI.
The more interested you are in people, the more interested in you they will be (and no, Yoda didn’t say that).
2. Make an effort to help your fellow members. If you hear somebody talking about a particular issue, dilemma or activity and there is something of value you can add (tangible help, advice or tools), then make contact (after the meeting rather than in general conversation), and make your contribution.
3. Look for ways to stay in touch. Keep your eyes peeled for news or developments or insights that might benefit their business and drop them an email about it.
In essence, look for ways to connect with your fellow members more regularly and make it about them, not just yourself.
