- Do you not think about referrals until your BNI meeting? At which point you heart rate accelerates and you begin to sweat as referral time comes around?
- Do you say, as fast as you possibly can… “No referrals from me today”?
- Do you feel ‘stink’ when you don’t give referrals (which can be most meetings)?
- Does it feel like all eyes are on you?
The reason for this problem may be because you feel that ‘giving referrals’ is expected of you, rather than coming from a genuine desire to give.
Expectation means pressure, which is unpleasant.
On the other hand, when we desire to do something it’s usually because we anticipate enjoying the experience.
If you want to be a better giver of referrals, you have to want to give.
When we want something, we will – consciously and subconsciously – make the effort to get what we want. That means opportunities to give referrals will seem to ‘appear’ more often and that’s because giving referrals won’t be an afterthought, but a focussed, conscious desire and activity.
When you give with a glad heart, it is received with joy and stimulates the desire in the other person to reciprocate because you have made a genuine gesture towards them.
When you give because you must, the quality of what you give is usually poor – because you’re trying to get away with parting with as little as possible – and it’s not a happy experience for you and the other person will most likely sense this at some level.
The result is that you will not engage reciprocity.
You will get fewer referrals and their quality will be poor.
In the end, your success all begins and ends with… you.
3 comments
Very true. I’ve also found that the process of giving and receiving referrals only works when there is a genuine belief in the other person’s services. I am less likely to enthusiastically market someone’s business if I harbour doubts about the quality of their work.
When I am impressed by the quality of a company or person’s service, however, I will actively pursue referrals for them, because it will also reflect positively back on my business.
Totally agree with this bloggers philosophy – coming from the perspective of do as you would have others do unto you!
I agree with you, wanting to give is the most successful motivation for giving, it also means that the qualiity of referal is going to be higher.
Generating the culture of giving in a club is also a fundamental ingredient to individuals doing well. That is the value placed by the club members on the activity of giving referals. This will affect the number of referrals given and received, and individual members finding and bringing referral to the meeting because they want to.
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