Begin by being showing your face more.

Here’s a tip:

Social scientists have shown that the more often we see somebody – even an image of them – the more we grow to like them. It’s one reason why celebrities are so popular and why there is such an outpouring of grief when one of them dies – even if their fans never got to within a thousands kilometres of them in their life!

It’s because we see so much of them, we feel like we know them.

Does this mean you can send a life-size cut-out of yourself to your BNI meetings?

Well, your leadership teams wouldn’t like it and there’s always the real risk is that your fellow members might end up liking the cut-out more than they do you…

Jokes aside, if you want to be relevant to somebody, you need to be present. We all know that ‘absence does not make the heart grow fonder’. It just makes it colder.

If you want to increase your referral business, make sure you’re getting regular face time with your network. And that’s how your face can make you money.

Colin Kennedy is a keynote speaker, writer and content marketing consultant. As BNI New Zealand’s marketing director he is responsible for the organisation’s communications strategy, and also serves as an assistant director for North Central region of BNI.

How do you say thanks when someone refers you to some one else?

What it is that you do to acknowledge your appreciation?

Push them for answers and repeat some of the responses. Then say…..

Here are some of the ways that I wrote down in preparing for this session.

1. send a special thankyou card
2. send a hand written letter in a hand addressed envelope
3. make a special phone call for that purpose and nothing else
4. send chocolates
5. send an email
6. send some theatre tickets
7. send a “scratchie” lottery ticket
8. send a bottle of wine
9. send some flowers
10. drop in unannounced at their office/premises to say thanks
11. give them 2 referrals
12. send them a $10 note suggesting they spend it solely on themselves
13. make a big fuss at the  R,R & R session next week
14. remember their birthday

I am sure you can think of others. Just make sure your thankyou is genuine, says something special about you, and you always do it.

The Referral Master®

Occasionally BNI members decide to do their own thing rather than continuing with BNI. Looking back on the history I ask myself “why do they choose to do their own thing? Listening to the conversation of people or chapters who have left BNI I was reminded of a friend who is a Dairy Farmer. I had the pleasure of visiting him one day on his farm and as we were walking through one of the fields he said to me “Brian see those weeds they are taking up valuable space that could be growing grass, but as a farmer I have a choice I can either devote my time to killing the weeds or grow the grass. If I spend the time killing the weeds, yes there is more space to grow the grass but I am not actually growing what the cows need. However if I devote my time and effort to growing the grass, it grows thicker and higher the cows eat more, they produce more butter fat and I make more money. So I have a choice do I kill the weeds or grow the grass.”

This principle applies in life and in BNI. Is BNI perfect? No, after all it is made up of imperfect individuals but it is the worlds leading networking organization. Why? Because the foundation principle of givers gain is helping fellow members, figuratively speaking, grow the grass in their own and fellow members businesses.

So in life as well as BNI we have a choice; do we moan and complain of the things that are wrong.  When I hear of complaints and moans it reminds me of the inspired words “I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed” how true that is when we start focusing on the negative we take our eyes off the positive and growing the opportunities. We have shifted from growing grass and we are focusing on the weeds. Therefore my choice and advice is to grow the grass, as we do we will become more successful and fulfilled. The most fertile field is our minds so to have positive and productive minds we need to grow the thoughts and opportunities in the mind and not allow it to be choked with the weeds of stinking thinking. For when we complain our spirit is overwhelmed and we don’t achieve what we should and we become focused on weeds which narrow our vision, restrict our opportunities, hinder our growth and causes us to be less of a person than we really are designed to be.

Use this workshop/exercise to open a training session (LT training), to perk up a core group, in a chapter that is stale or simply because it is fun.

Give members the following instructions:-

1.    They have 3 minutes to find as many things in common with other members of your chapter as possible.
2.    As soon as they discover “one” thing in common, they must move on to the next member.
3.    They cannot repeat the same “in common” findings with any other member.

After the time is up, get feedback as to who found the most things in common and recognize that person with a prize.

Also ask whether anyone found anything of personal interest in common with another member. One chapter in the USA used this and two members found that they were cousins and had never met.

If the chapter has more than 20 members you may wish to give them 5 minutes. They will then have to work harder to discover something in common.

The Referral Master®

Ask those around you this question – It is not what you know, but who you know –Truth or Delusion?

My money is on the most popular result being Truth – the correct answer is actually Delusion.

There is a reason for this – it is how well you know them that really matters. We all know that people do business with those they know, like and trust – this is a matter of confidence. If you look at your database or address book, how many of those listed are just names, and how many do you really know?

In order to get referral business you need to build strong relationships with others so as to establish credibility with them. This will take time but the results are rewarding.

In BNI we encourage members to build strong relationships, and this is done chiefly by “dancing”. How well do you know the person next to you? Would they pass a business referral to you? There is an obvious answer to these questions – book a dance.

Dancing helps build relationships that lead to referrals that turn into business.

How well are you farming?

Seek responses and repeat 2 or 3 of them. Then tell them….

Many people give up their networking activity after the first stage. They come to a meeting for a month or two then loudly proclaim that they haven’t received any referrals and leave.

Some people even get to the second stage and are being accepted by the other members yet give up because it is taking too long.

Ask the members…..

What activities are involved in building credibility?

Seek responses and repeat 2 or 3 of them.

Now let me tell you what things we have listed under Credibility!

So, how is your farming going?

The Referral Master®

How well are you farming?

Seek responses and repeat 2 or 3 of them. Then tell them….

Dr Ivan Misner – the founder and chairman of BNI talks about the three stages of building relationships:

Visibility, Credibility and Profitability

The first stage is being known (or plowing the field), the second is gaining acceptance (or planting the seed) and trust and the third is where both partners are gaining from the relationship (reaping the crop).

So what things can you do to improve your Visibility?

Seek responses and repeat 2 or 3 of them.

Now let me give you a list of things that we recommend.

1.    show up every week – and on the weeks you can’t, ALWAYS send a substitute
2.    show up early – at least 5 minutes before the meeting starts – people will begin to notice and comment on your habit of being early – you will stand out from the others who race in “just on time” or even after 7.00 am
3.    volunteer to help when someone is away – no matter what, volunteer – people will begin to notice that you are someone who helps
4.    stay behind after the meeting – help the Leadership Team clean up – make sure the visitors have been looked after
5.    make sure the card box is always topped up with your cards
6.    make sure the display table always has plenty of your brochures, flyers, etc

The Referral Master®

What time do you arrive at a normal client meeting? Early, on-time or late?

Field answers and repeat 3 or 4 to the group.

Now ask them…..

What time do you arrive at a meeting with your most important client?

Repeat the most common answer.

Who is your most important client?

Repeat some of the answers. Then say…..

If you said early, why do you do that?

Repeat some of the answers. Then say…..

Some of the better reasons would be….

1.    To show respect for that client and his or her time
2.    To prepare myself so that I am not hurried
3.    To see who else is there early
4.    To demonstrate to them my attention to detail

So what time do you arrive at your BNI meeting?

Repeat some of the answers. Then say…..

Here are some of the better reasons….

1.    To demonstrate my respect for other Chapter members and their time
2.    To demonstrate that I would be punctual with their referrals
3.    To learn more about other chapter members in “open networking”
4.    To make sure I can assist with anything that needs doing at the meeting venue

Always remember that your BNI Chapter is potentially your best source of referral business and therefore, potentially your best client.

The Referral Master®

The last two weeks we have been looking at what we consider the most important aspects of a relationship. We have listed the following three.

What things can you do to give your BNI team a feeling of Trust in you?

Repeat some of the answers and then list the following….

1.    Honesty – nothing undermines a relationship faster than dishonesty
2.    Expectation – members have a positive expectation of you and how you will act
3.    Confidence – members confidently believe your statements and rely on them

Ask members…

How these might be demonstrated in normal BNI activity?

Repeat some of the responses.

Now close the workshop with the following…

Always remember the philosophy of BNI – Givers Gain. You will get what you receive. If you are Trustworthy you will be given Trust.

More importantly, the relationships you build will last a lifetime.

The Referral Master®

Purpose: To focus on ways to build relationships.

————————————————————————————————

Start by telling the members…..

Last week we looked at what we consider the most important aspects of a relationship and listed the following three.

What things can you do to give your BNI team the belief in your integrity?

Repeat some of the answers and then list the following….

1.    Honesty – nothing undermines a relationship faster than the lack of honesty. And this not only relates to telling the truth – it includes letting your fellow members know what you think about the referrals you receive; both good and bad.
2.    Performance – doing what you say you will do no matter how hard it turns out to be. No-one likes a “gunna” – “gunna” do this and “gunna” do that – someone who promises a lot and delivers much less.
3.    Ethics – adherence to the Code of Ethics, no matter what. Whether it is the BNI Code of Ethics or another stricter code, adherence to a code of ethics stands you out from the crowd.

More importantly, the relationships you build will last a lifetime.

The Referral Master®